Parenting Season

This is not parenting advice. There is enough of that out there, and most of it will drive you crazy.

Writing and reading are attempts to feel less alone.

As much as you want to relate to and connect, everyone’s parenting experience is unique, so you fumble through, learning in the dark.

If your pre-kid identity was based on autonomy, it’ll be harder.

You find yourself simultaneously at your very best and absolute worst, asking yourself: "Was I always this shitty, or did parenting bring it out?”

It breaks you open in every way, emotionally, mentally, physically, and forces you to expand.

You’ll re-prioritize and rebuild your life, your identity, your worth.

Your partner, if you’re fortunate enough to have one, will be doing the same.

Years pass, and you’ll ask:

How did we get here?

How did it all go by so fast?

Who the hell are we now?

Yes, every parenting cliche is true. You’ll never understand until you do it. They grow up so fast. It’s the hardest, best thing you’ll ever do. Check them all off.

Your coworkers will be able to work harder than you. More than you. You’ll have to figure out why that bugs you. Therapy might help.

If you want more work or personal time, it will be deducted from your family time. You can’t have both. Your final distribution will be judged on your deathbed by a jury of one.

There is a lot of guilt in every emotion you feel other than grateful. Not everyone is as lucky.

Admitting it’s hard feels wrong because the love is so strong. Imagine your kid reading this one day and try not to cringe.

Life becomes an endless emotional equation. Love is the constant. The total sum.

Older parents will look at you and laugh at your current toddler struggles. You’ll do the same once you’ve reached the other side.  

You’ll re-evaluate your own childhood. See your own fears, anxieties, and insecurities reflected back in the way you shape theirs.

Pray you’ve faced your demons, or they’ll be passed on to your kids to carry.

The seasons of life are now continuous and ever-changing.  

The solace comes in the passing of each. Some to hold onto forever, while others convince you the storm will never stop.

In each of the challenging phases, leaps, regressions, you’ll convince yourself things will be stuck this way forever, and fight to hold yourself up through the chaos.

Then, without warning, everything flips overnight.

Another parenting season passed.