A Thousand Tries

Maybe this will work. I’ve never done it before, but have all the pieces, just need to put them together. 

Okay, harder than I thought, but they’re starting to work; I can definitely do this. 

That one flipped all the way around. I’ve got this. 

Damnit, not tonight, but they’re flipping over, one out of forty. Definitely got it soon. 

Not tonight, but next week for sure. 

Holy shit, this is really not working. What am I doing wrong? It’s so close, just can’t ride away. 

I hate curbs. Why’d we agree to start skating these things again? 

It’s way too late. I need to get home and go to bed. Ten more tries. 

Okay, thirty, next week for sure. 

Tonight is the night. Not going home until I make it, no matter what. Positive mindset only. 

‘Unsatisfied’ is really my anthem these days. I hate these drives home. 

It’s weird to be kicked out by a cop fifteen years younger than me.

Even weirder the second time with the same cop. No tickets, though. Sort of a win, I guess. 

That was it, I did it. That looked terrible, can’t use that. Gotta do another. Phone’s dead. Next week. It’s possible. 

All this for a three-second story clip. What is wrong with me? 

Five years is my record; I can’t get anywhere near there. I’m calling it and moving on soon. Have to. 

I’m hearing people’s critiques of an imaginary make in my head as I roll up. Not helpful. 

You already did it once, you know it’s possible, just do a good one. 

This is why no one wants to skate with you.

One try roughly every two minutes. Two-hour sessions, so sixty tries per week, times nine weeks. Oh, who are you kidding? You can’t do mental math. It’s a lot of tries. Shut up. 

I’m carrying a lot of emotional weight lately. Maybe that’s why I’m hyper-focused on this. It’s a distraction. Sure, that sounds better than stubborn and hopelessly obsessed. 

Tonight’s the night. I have to call it soon, I can’t take much more of this. It’s been multiple months now. It’s not even winter anymore, and I’m still in this parking garage.

My wife and kids are at home sleeping, I’m here in a parking garage for the second night in a row. Not going home empty-handed tonight. 

Okay, it’s three nights in a row; she’s really annoyed with me now. This can’t be worth it. 

You’re telling me there isn’t a happy ending to this story. I just need to take the second one I landed and move on? God damnit. I need to be done. 

How am I still here?  Not sure, but I kinda like it. Think I’ll stay.